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px330_EmoCoachReview
Gottman Principles of Emotions
Term | Definition |
---|---|
Emotion Coaching | The Key to Becoming Emotionally Intelligent |
DisMissing Emotional Needs = | <--Feelings are Wrong, Inappropriate, Not Valid, the Child is Broke; Let Me Fix it |
DisApproving Adult = | <--Adult Judges, Criticizes, Demands Conformity, Manipulation becomes Power Struggle |
An Emotional Coach = | <--Coaches: Regulation of Personal Emotions AND Trust; Teach+Learn Problem Solving Skills |
Laissez-Faire Relations = | <--Freely Accepting Emotions, Comforts- Without Guiding/Teaching Skills, 'Get it Out' ; 'Ride it out' |
Empathy | Identify AND Understand Another's Emotions; (Feel what others Feel) |
Step One /5 Strategies (B | Be --> Self-Aware; Child Aware, Be@Peace |
StepTwo /5 Strategies (R | Recognize Emotion as an Opportunity --> Build Trust, Intimacy, and Collaboration |
Step Three /5 Strategies (E | Empathize Listening --> Validate by Hearing With Heart AND Mind AND Soul |
Step Four /5 Strategies (V | Verbalize Emotions by Name |
Step Five /5 Strategies (S | Solve: Limits AND Problems --> Better Choices, Family Values, New Skills |
Collaboration | Teamwork--> Parent-Child, Husband-Wife, Church-Home, Home-Community |
BAD TIME to Coach (obstacles; Inappropriate Ineffective) | TOO Upset ; TOO Tired; Serious Misbehavior; Negative Time Pressures; In Front of Friends |
Aviod (X-Out) | "Parental Agenda"; "Siding with Enemy"; "Mocking Bird Moments ("I don't remember !" ; "You don't Remember?!?"; |
"The Four Horseman of the Apocalpse" in Marriage Relations | "Criticise; Contempt; Defensive; Stonewalling" |
Useful Stategies | "Scaffolding" and Praise; Thoughtfully 'MAP-A-LIFE' (child's daily life); Empower & Respect: Dreams/Wishes; |
DON'T | Impose Personal Solutions to Child's Problem; |
DO Use: Sympethetic Frame of Mind | Similar Situations "I Do Remember How/when I Felt... (Just Like You)" Translate Child's Situation to Similar Adult. ex: First day on new job |