click below
click below
Normal Size Small Size show me how
M & F midterm
Marriage and Family midterm review
Question | Answer |
---|---|
What are the two lies that sabotage our relationship? | I need this person to be complete If this person needs me, I'll be complete |
Name the four steps to becoming whole. | Heal your hurts Take off your mask Sit in the driver's seat Rely on God |
List the three R's every family teaches. Write the complete phrase not just the "R" word. | Rules - The rules that they reinforced, The ones that you learn the best Roles - The certain roles that they asked you to play Relationships - The relationships they modeled |
Part 1 Name and describe 8 roles people play in families from your reading and notes. | Problem solver: Always ready with a solution Victim: Pulling compassion and sympathy from others Rescuer: Diving into situations for somebody else's safety Comedian: Ready with a joke for comic relief Mediator: Serving as a bridge between others |
Part 2 Name and describe 8 roles people play in families from your reading and notes. | Confronter: Facing reality and calling it as you see it Healer: Administering healing to emotional wounds Secret-keeper: Holding a confidence tight and safe |
Name the 3 types of friendship described by Aristotle | Friendship based on unity Friendship based on pleasure Perfect friendship |
What are friends of the road? | People that are your friends for part of the journey |
What are friends of the heart? | Long lived and continous ones in which the connection is rooted in being rather than doing. |
Name the 3 main reasons friendships fail | A major change Neglect Betrayal |
Describe the 5 steps to mend broken friendships | Count the cost Make meaningful contact Forgive as best you can Diagnose the problem Rebuild respect |
List and explain the 7 ways "Smart Love" works | Seeks a good match Pays attention to values Doesn't try to change others Doesn't try to change oneself Doesn't play games Doesn't run from conflict Knows the bottom line |
List the personality styles discussed in class with a description of each style. | Choleric - Likes it "my way" extrovert Sanguine - Likes it "the fun way" extrovert Melancholy - Likes it "the right way" introvert Phlegmatic - Likes it "any way" introvert |
part 1 Specifically talk about 10 strengths of your personality style or styles | Mental type, Thinks, Assesses, Makes list charts graphs, Planner, Deep, Thoughtful, Analytical, Purposeful, Prone to genius, Talented artistic musical, Appreciates beauty, Sensity, Self-sacrificing, Conscientious, Idealistic, Perfectionist |
Part 2 Specifically talk about 10 weaknesses of your personality style or styles | Moody, Depressed, Low self-image, Too introspective, Guilt feeling, Persecution, Hypochondria, Puts goals beyond reach, Sulks, Suspicious, Unforgiving, |
Talk about the idea of "The way out is through" | Unconscious effort to heal old wounds, we tend to fall in love with partners who are either very similar to our parents or the exact opposite of our parents, either path fans the flames. instead, grow in your relational awareness and chart a new courses |
Describe the Name-Connect-Choose process and how you would use it to understand your past | Name: call the past what it is honestly about how you were or are impacted Connect: Allow yourself to feel the impact of the past without judgement Choose: consciously choose love again and again |
Part 1 Explain the concept of "Becoming instead of seeking." | What happens when you surrender the belief that the key to a successful intimate relationship is finding Mr. or Ms. Right, and you instead deeply trust that the key to a successful intimate relationship is becoming and being Mr. or Ms. Right? |
Part 2 Explain the concept of "Becoming instead of seeking." | Taking responsibility for your “stuff” - the impact of your family dynamic on your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about love - helps you ask for what you need from an empowered place rather than a blaming place. |
Part 1 Elaborate on what the power of story means as it relates to relationships in our lives | Healing is possible when we bravely claim the stories of our lives and stand without shame in our truth Storytelling yields understanding within a person & between people Our life story is our personality |
part 2 Elaborate on what the power of story means as it relates to relationships in our lives | The best way to truly know a person is to know the story they tell about the life they live Instead of looking for what's “wrong,” bear witness as you weave together the moments of your journey |
Part 1 What are "Core Issues"? | Negative themes that reoccur in our life stories are our core issues. A core issue is a vulnerability, a tender spot. |
Explain the concept of "embracing both/and" | |
Discuss the idea of "Parenting yourself from the inside." | |
What are the 5 conditions for when you should act friendly towards a guy you like? | Your behavior and /or words aren’t sexually suggestive, seductive, or clearly unwanted,His age is an appropriate match for your age He is available He has no significant character concerns,Those who know you best and love you most support the relationship |
Part 1 If a girl isn't sure whether her behavior with a guy is inappropriately flirtatious, what 6 questions should she ask herself? | What do I hope to gain by saying or doing this?Is this guy seeing someone?Are these words going to tempt him into coming around me more often than he should? |
Part 2 If a girl isn't sure whether her behavior with a guy is inappropriately flirtatious, what 6 questions should she ask herself? | Am I using words or actions to manipulate this person into meeting emotional needs & make me feel better about myself?If I sense that a guy I'm Not really interested in is flirting with me, am I making it more fun for him by playing his game? |
Part 3 If a girl isn't sure whether her behavior with a guy is inappropriately flirtatious, what 6 questions should she ask herself? | If I actually say what I am thinking about saying or do what I am thinking about doing, then turn around and find one of my parents, would I have some explaining to do? |
Part 1 What are the 3 recommendations made in the lecture? | Ignore any guy who starts making eyes at you, shouting, or tries to get your attention in inappropriate ways. When talking with a guy on the phone, don’t say anything sexually suggestive. |
Part 2 What are the 3 recommendations made in the lecture? | Direct any conversation or questions regarding sexual issues to a parent or trusted mentor. |
List the personality styles discussed in class with a description of each style. Specifically talk about strengths of your personality style or styles. - choleric- | Extrovert Strengths: Born leader, dominant, strong Decisive Dynamic Goal orientated Organizer Looks for practical solutions exudes confidence Excels in emergencies Not easily discouraged |
List the personality styles discussed in class with a description of each style. Specifically talk about weaknesses of your personality style or styles. - choleric- | Weaknesses: Stubborn, arrogant Unemotional Compulsive Bossy Quick tempered Impetuous Enjoys controversy & argument Inflexible Not complimentary Dislikes tears and emotions unsympathetic |
List the personality styles discussed in class with a description of each style. Specifically talk about weaknesses of your personality style or styles. - choleric- likes it "my way" | The real difference between an extrovert and an introvert is where you get your energy from. Introverts fill from within Extroverts fill from around them |
List the personality styles discussed in class with a description of each style. Specifically talk about weaknesses of your personality style or styles. - sanguine- Likes it "the fun way" | Strengths: Talker Optimist Life of the party Enthusiastic Expressive Cheerful Volunteer or jobs Cheerful Social Enjoys fun Socializing Chatting telling stories Get on well with people gets excited about issues Entertainer Popular |
List the personality styles discussed in class with a description of each style. Specifically talk about weaknesses of your personality style or styles. - sanguine- Likes it "the fun way" | Weaknesses: Compulsive Exaggerates Would rather talk & forget obligations Decides by feelings Forgetful Interrupts Fickle Forgetful Hates to be alone Needs center stage Over promise-under deliver |
List the personality styles discussed in class with a description of each style. Specifically talk about weaknesses of your personality style or styles. - melancholy- Likes it "the right way" | Strengths: Mental type Thinks,Assesses Makes list charts graphs Planner Deep Thoughtful Analytical Purposeful Prone to genius Talented artistic musical Appreciates beauty Sensity Self-sacrificing Conscientious Idealistic Perfectionist |
List the personality styles discussed in class with a description of each style. Specifically talk about weaknesses of your personality style or styles. - melancholy- Likes it "the right way" | Weaknesses: Moody Depressed Low self-image Too introspective Guilt feeling Persecution Hypochondria Puts goals beyond reach Sulks Suspicious Unforgiving |
List the personality styles discussed in class with a description of each style. Specifically talk about weaknesses of your personality style or styles. - phlegmatic- Likes it "any way" | Strengths: Watcher,Easy going,Laid back ,Nonchalant,Unexcitable ,Relaxed,Quiet,Peaceful,Dry,Quick sense humor,Low-key personality,Calm,Cool,Collected,Well balanced,Sympathetic,Competent,Steady peaceful,Agreeable,Good lister ,Compassion concern for others |
List the personality styles discussed in class with a description of each style. Specifically talk about weaknesses of your personality style or styles. - phlegmatic- Likes it "any way" | Weaknesses: Pessimistic Keeps emotions hidden Lax on discipline Stays uninvolved Resists change Dampens enthusiasm Indecisive Avoids responsibility Reticent Too compromising Indifferent Resists change |
Part 1 List 8 rules for fighting fair in a relationship | The relationship is more important than the issue. Don’t blame others. Don’t dig up past faults to justify current perception. Don’t use name calling or negative labels. Emotions should be talked out, not acted out. |
Part 2 List 8 rules for fighting fair in a relationship | There should be no demanding or bossing the other around. Don’t yell or raise your voice. Don’t punish each other with silence. |
Part 1 List 10 ways people avoid intimacy | Act as if nothing ever bothers you. In a conflict, retreat. Pout. Always keep busy. Look out for #1. Schedule your time & stick to it. Always stand up for yourself. |
Part 2 List 10 ways people avoid intimacy | When something goes wrong, blame others. When you find something you don’t like in your spouse, try to change it. Don’t tell your spouse what you want & need. Insist on doing things the way your parents did |
Part 1 What are the 9 ways to maintain good communication in a marriage? | Maintain a safe climate. Be a good listener. Practice self-disclosure. Discuss touchy subjects. Presume the best about the other. |
Part 2 What are the 9 ways to maintain good communication in a marriage? | Count to 10 - more - before responding. Discuss one issue at a time. Keep it private. If you're wrong, swallow your pride & admit it. |
Part 1 List and describe each of the 5 Love Languages & give an example of each | Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation One way to express love emotionally is to use words that build up, complimentary, encouraging, kind, humble words. “I really appreciate you doing the dishes tonight.” |
Part 2 List and describe each of the 5 Love Languages & give an example of each | Love Language #2: Quality Time Giving your mate undivided attention Quality conversation and activities (picnic) |
Part 3 List and describe each of the 5 Love Languages & give an example of each | Love Language #3: Receiving Gifts A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say. “Look he/she was thinking of me,” “He/she remembered me.” A visual symbol of love (a special piece of jewelry) |
Part 4 List and describe each of the 5 Love Languages & give an example of each | Love Language #4: Acts of Service Doing things you know your mate would like you to do Cooking special meals for your partner |
Part 5 List and describe each of the 5 Love Languages & give an example of each | Love Language #5: Physical Touch A way of communicating emotional love Holding hands, kissing, embracing, and sexual intercourse |
Part 2 What are the "Core Issues"? | It is a wound in need of healing - or a still-tender scar. They are often referred to as emotional blind spots. They tend to hang out just outside of our conscious awareness, leading us to mistake out perceptions for absolute truth |