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Habit 4 Study Guide
Balance Courage with Considerations/ Make deposits in other people's EBA
Main Point | Think Win-Win is about building effective relationships with people by working for their benefit while you are working for your own benefit. |
Why is win-win essential to your meaningful life? | It's the basic principle of successful living: You cant win at life unless other people win too. |
Definition: Lose-Win | If you're low on courage and high on consideration , you are insecure. You always get stepped on, say yes too fast and always looking for sympathy. |
Definition: Lose-Lose | If you can't win ,nobody wins. You put other people down , criticize, envy and like to get revenge on others. |
Definition: Win-Win | Balancing courage and consideration is the way to help others feel good and for you to feel good as well. |
People who think win-win or No Deal live by 2 principles.... | Courage and Consideration |
High Consideration/ Low on Courage | (Lose-win) You're eager to please and reluctant to stand up for yourself. |
Low Consideration/ Low Courage | You basically don't care for yourself or others if they loose. |
Low Consideration/ High Courage | You want to be the best of the best. You are bold but unkind and inconsiderate. See life as a competition |
High Consideration/ High Courage | You're ready to walk away before someone looses including yourself. |
Main point #2 | The key to making friends is to deposit acts of kindness and helpfulness in their EBA. |
Deposit: | Doing something to helps the relationship |
Withdrawals: | Doing something that hurts the relationship. |
Do small acts of kindness | Second deposit is treat people with kindness. Like in college many sit next to each other or walk without saying hello do the little kindness and say hi |
Find out what a deposit is for the other person | what you think is a deposit for the other people may in fact be a withdrawal in their mind. |
Keep promises | Its's important to make good on your word and be very careful before using the word "i promise". |
Keep Confidences | When someone shares a secret keep it to yourself only. |
Be loyal to the absent | Avoid gossiping or backbiting. Stick up for people if others talk bad about your friends. |
Set clear Expectations | Don't ;eave things fuzzy. |
Apologize | If you're wrong admit it. Don't wait , Some people refuse to say they are sorry until the other person apologizes, or make up excuses for their behavior and that's even a bigger withdrawal |
Forgive | Learn to forgive and forget so that you don't keep hurting yourself the way you were hurt. |
Definition: Win-Lose | You can't win unless other people loose. If you're high on courage and low in consideration, you're always trying to get ahead of others or be better than other people. You're proud. |