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Habit 4

Think Win-Win

TermDefinition
Habit 4: Think Win-Win is essential to your meaningful life and a basic principle of successful living.
Paradigms of Habit 4 Win-lose Lose-Win Lose-Lose Win-Win or No Deal
"I'm going to beat you no matter what." Win-Lose mentality
Win-Lose High on courage and low on consideration, you're always trying to get ahead of others or be better than other people.
"I always get stepped on." , "Have your way with me. Everybody else does." Lose-Win mentality
Lose-Win Low on courage and high on consideration, you're insecure and not brave enough to stick up for yourself.
"If I'm going down, you're going with me." Lose-Lose mentality
Lose-lose Low in both courage and consideration. If you can't win, nobody wins. You get revenge.
"We're going to win together." Win-Win or No Deal mentality
Win-Win or No Deal High in both courage and consideration. Balancing courage and consideration is the way to help others feel good and for you to feel good too.
People who think win-win or no deal live by two principles Courage and Consideration
EBA Emotional Bank Account
Emotional Bank Account is a relationship.
A deposit When you do something that helps the relationship
A withdrawal When you do something that hurts the relationship.
Find Out What a Deposit Is for the Other Person What you think is a deposit for the other person may in fact be a withdrawal in their mind. You won't know unless you found out.
Do Small Acts of Kindness A second deposit is to treat people with kindness. The opposite is to be unkind, discourteous, and disrespectful.
Does EBAs exist in online relationships? Yes they do; it's easier to fire off an email or text, so use your habit 1 skill and push the pause button before you hit "send."
Keep Promises It's so important to make good on your word and be very careful before using the words "I promise" or "I commit." Nothing breaks a EBA faster than to break a serious promise.
Keep Confidences When someone shares something with you in confidence, keep it that way.
Be Loyal to the Absent Avoid gossiping or backbiting. If you bad-mouth someone, the people listening to you will wonder if you're doing the same behind their back.
Set Clear Expectations Don't leave things fuzzy. With roommates: "I'll make dinner this week if you'll clean the kitchen." Or at work: "I just want to be clear about the job you're asking me to do."
Apologize If you're in the wrong, admit it. Making excuses instead of making things better turns into an even bigger withdrawal.
Forgive Learn to forgive and to forget so that you don't keep hurting yourself the way you were hurt.
Created by: eramos3
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