Gottman Principles of Emotions
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| Emotion Coaching | The Key to Becoming Emotionally Intelligent
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| DisMissing Emotional Needs = | <--Feelings are Wrong, Inappropriate, Not Valid, the Child is Broke; Let Me Fix it
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| DisApproving Adult = | <--Adult Judges, Criticizes, Demands Conformity, Manipulation becomes Power Struggle
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| An Emotional Coach = | <--Coaches: Regulation of Personal Emotions AND Trust; Teach+Learn Problem Solving Skills
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| Laissez-Faire Relations = | <--Freely Accepting Emotions, Comforts- Without Guiding/Teaching Skills, 'Get it Out' ; 'Ride it out'
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| Empathy | Identify AND Understand Another's Emotions; (Feel what others Feel)
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| Step One /5 Strategies (B | Be --> Self-Aware; Child Aware, Be@Peace
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| StepTwo /5 Strategies (R | Recognize Emotion as an Opportunity --> Build Trust, Intimacy, and Collaboration
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| Step Three /5 Strategies (E | Empathize Listening --> Validate by Hearing With Heart AND Mind AND Soul
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| Step Four /5 Strategies (V | Verbalize Emotions by Name
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| Step Five /5 Strategies (S | Solve: Limits AND Problems --> Better Choices, Family Values, New Skills
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| Collaboration | Teamwork--> Parent-Child, Husband-Wife, Church-Home, Home-Community
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| BAD TIME to Coach (obstacles; Inappropriate Ineffective) | TOO Upset ; TOO Tired; Serious Misbehavior; Negative Time Pressures; In Front of Friends
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| Aviod (X-Out) | "Parental Agenda"; "Siding with Enemy"; "Mocking Bird Moments ("I don't remember !" ; "You don't Remember?!?";
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| "The Four Horseman of the Apocalpse" in Marriage Relations | "Criticise; Contempt; Defensive; Stonewalling"
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| Useful Stategies | "Scaffolding" and Praise;
Thoughtfully 'MAP-A-LIFE' (child's daily life); Empower & Respect: Dreams/Wishes;
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| DON'T | Impose Personal Solutions to Child's Problem;
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| DO Use: Sympethetic Frame of Mind | Similar Situations "I Do Remember How/when I Felt... (Just Like You)" Translate Child's Situation to Similar Adult. ex: First day on new job
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