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Habit 4

Think Win-Win

TermDefinition
Balance Courage and Consideration Build effective relationships with people by working for their benefit as well as your own
Win-Lose "I'm going to beat you no matter what!" The mentality of needing to win at the expense of another losing (high courage, low consideration)
Lose-Win "I always get stepped on." Low courage + high consideration = insecurity. This mentality causes one to be easily taken advantage of
Win-Win (No Deal) "We're going to win together!" This mentality calls for integrity. You win because the contestants all played fairly, or you call "no deal" because the victory would not be earned (high courage and consideration)
Lose-Lose "If I'm going down, you're going down with me!" This is a revenge mentality. The owner of this mindset is envious and critical of others (low courage and consideration)
Depositing in Other People's Emotion Bank Accounts (EBA) Make deposits of kindness and helpfulness into other people's Emotional Bank Accounts to make new friends and build strong relationships
Emotional Bank Account (EBA) The quality of your relationships. Helping a relationship is a deposit into the EBA. Hurting it is a withdrawal
Find Out What a Deposit Is for the Other Person Show consideration! What you think may be a well-thought out and thoughtful deposit may in fact be a withdrawal. Think, "What would be good for the other person? What would they like and need?"
Do Small Acts of Kindness Smile and say hello to someone. Tell them they look nice. Hold a door open for others, even if that means they get in line ahead of you. This step takes initiative, but it adds up to a larger deposit
Keep Promises Failing to keep promises and commitments counts as serious withdrawals from a person's EBA. Do not use the words "I promise" lightly
Keep Confidences Be trustworthy! Being in someone's confidence is an amazing feeling, but it can be one of the most harmful withdrawals if you get carried away with revealing information your peers might not want revealed
Be Loyal to the Absent Maintain integrity by not gossiping or backbiting. Be a loyal friend and peer - do you act the same way at home as you do in public?
Set Clear Expectations Carry your own weight, and be courageous with your expectations of others. Ask for clarification from others if need be, and remember that you are in control of only one person's behavior - your own
Apologize Clean up your side of the street as soon as you make a mess. Be contrite, and search within yourself to understand how and where you were wrong for maximum sincerity
Forgive "Don't Let yesterday hold your tomorrow hostage!" Revenge is never the way to progressive construction; learn to move on and forgive others when you have been wronged
Created by: Paul G
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