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DBT IPE
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy - Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Unit
Question | Answer |
---|---|
Acronym (way to remember) the skills needed to increase self-respect (Self-Respect Effectiveness) | FAST |
Acronym (Way to remember) the skills to use to help someone to like you (Relationship Effectiveness) | GIVE |
Acronym (way to remember) the skills to get what you want (Objective Effectiveness) | DEAR WOMAN |
Acronym for the WHAT skills for getting what you want | DEAR |
3 possible goals for hard conversations | Objective Effectiveness, Relationship Effectiveness, Self-Respect Effectiveness |
Acronym for the HOW skills for getting what you want | WOMAN |
What does the G in GIVE stand for? | be Gentle |
What does the I in GIVE stand for? | act Interested |
What does the V in GIVE stand for? | Validate |
What does E in GIVE stand for? | Easy manner |
What does F in FAST stand for? | be Fair |
What does A in FAST stand for? | no Appologizies for things you are not sorry for |
What does the T stand for? | Tell the Truth |
What does D in DEAR WOMAN stand for? | Describe |
What does E in DEAR WOMAN stand for? | Express |
What does Describe mean? | Create a starting point, frame of reference. "This is what I want to talk with you about." It is identifying the topic with information with common ground |
What does Express mean? | Share your opinion, feelings, point of view |
What does A in DEAR WOMAN stand for? | Ask |
What does R in DEAR WOMAN stand for? | Reinforce |
What does Reinforce mean? | Find reasons why the other person might want to go along with what you want? What's in it for them? (It may be something as simple as your appreciation.) |
The word to remember the skills for Relationship Effectiveness | GIVE |
The word to remember the skills for Self-Respect Effectiveness | FAST |
The word to remember the skills for Objective Effectiveness | DEAR WOMAN |
Deciding which skill set is needed | Priorities |
Intensity factor - asking: Does the person have what you want | Capability |
Intensity Factor - asking: Is this a good time to ask? | Timeliness |
Intensity Factor - asking: Do I know all the facts? Is my goal clear to me? Is my request clear? | Homework |
Intensity Factor - asking: Am I responsible for directing this person? | Authority |
Intensity Factor - asking: Is the other person required (by law or moral code)to give me what I want? | Rights |
Intensity Factor - asking: Is what I want appropriate to our relationship? | Relationship |
Intensity Factor - asking: Have I done at least as much for the other person as I am requesting? Am I willing to give if the other person says yes? | Reciprocity |
Intensity Factor - asking: Would being submissive result in peace now, but create problems in the long run? | Goals |
Intensity Factor - asking: Am I careful to avoid acting helpless when this is not the case? Do I ususaly do things for myself? | Respect |
Intensity Factor for saying no: Do I have what the other person wants? | Capabilities |
Intensity Factor for saying no: Is this a bad time to say no? | Timeliness |
Intensity Factor for saying no: Is the other person's request clear? | Homework |
Intensity Factor for saying no: Does the person have the authority to ask me to do what they are requestion? | Authority |
Intensity Factor for saying no: Am I required to give this person what she/ he is asking? Does saying no violate the other person's rights? | Rights |
Intensity Factor for saying no: Is this request appropriate to our relationship? | Relationship |
Intensity Factor for saying no: Does this person give me a lot? Do I owe this person? | Reciprocity |
Intensity Factor for saying no: Is short term peace more important than the long term health of the relationship? | Goals |
Intensity Factor for saying no: Will saying 'no' result in me feeling badly about myself? Does my Wise Mind say yes? | Respect |
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." ---- Harvey Fierstein | Self Respect |